I wrote this for a writers group ,'writers-agents-editors@yahoogroups.com'. See below for link.
This is the original, as posted. I made a few grammar errors. I could fix them, but it is a learning experience. Comments welcome.
Writer's Third Choice: Duck... Duck... Goose
Duck... Duck...Goose
by
Gerardine Baugh © 2007
Ducklings are fearless and this one was no exception. He leaped out of the water beak open, as he had half a dozen times before. His anticipation of a meal, gave him added strength. An unquenchable hunger pushed him to leap again; making him look like he was walking on water. The warm spring, blue sky was reflected in pond. Joggers could be seen on the far end, and children played on the swings. The scent of lilacs drifted through the air.
The hysterical laughter of the three year old was contagious. By passers stopped and smiled. His exuberance was heartwarming.
“Billy, time to go.”
A tall, slim woman ignored the man sitting next to her; she stood up and reached for her son. Her movements were feminine, yet feline, lithely smooth, with grace and power.
Billy gave her a look of annoyance. “I don’t want to leave yet. I’m still feeding the baby duck.”
He pointed excitedly at duckling; who noticed his rain of food had stopped. And was swimming in a circle, confused and just as annoyed as the young boy.
“No we have to go, now,”
“But mommy”
“No Billie it’s only a duck we can see him tomorrow.”
“Mrs. Kelly we have to talk,” the man had gotten up and followed her.”
“Officer Reily! Please leave us alone”
She picked up Billie and started to walk quickly away. Billie had other ideas he wanted his duck.
He wiggled out of her arms and ran back to the edge of the pond. His hand dangled in the water.
Officer Reily caught up to Mrs. Kelly and stopped her from grabbing Billie
“Your coming with me, Mrs. Kelly “
“Billie get away from the edge!” Her hand shook as she brushed her silky, auburn hair out of her eyes.
“Mrs. Kelly are you listening? You’re under arrest,” he pulled out a pair of cuffs. “I didn’t want to do this here. But it seems I have no choice.” He pulled a card out of his pocket and started reading from it, “You have the right to remain silent…”
“Listen! I need to take care of my son.. “She whispered, irritably.
He spoke into a radio; then turned back to Mrs. Kelly. “I’ll have another officer here in a moment to take care of your son; you need to listen to me.”
“NO!” Mrs. Kelly pushed away from the officer, and grabbed for Billy.
Officer Reily grabbed her left arm; she went down on her knees just as Billy toppled into the water.
She reached for Billy with her right hand.
“Billy!” she screamed.
Reily let her go; she crawled into the water pulling her son back to the side of the pond. He was choking and crying. Once she realized he was alright, she hugged him close.
A uniformed woman was heading in their direction. Mrs. Kelley rocked her son as she stood in the waist deep, cold water. Even though the air was warm; they both shivered.
“Mrs. Kelly, give me your hand I’ll help you both out.” Officer Reily crouched at the end of the pond, his hand extended.
“My ducky! My ducky!” Billy cried. “I want to feed him”
“Sweetie you’re all wet.”
“He’s still hungry. “ Billy wailed.
“How can you tell which one is yours they all look the same.” His mother pointed to the dozen young ducklings swimming around the pond.
“That one is mine,” Billy insisted.
“Billy.” His mother chided him
“I know him, please let me feed him. “
Mrs. Kelly looked up at the officer; she reached out to him. He grasped her arm, pulling her and Billy up, and out of the water; onto the edge of the pond.
“Please let me talk with my son for a few moments, alone.”
“Ok! Ok! You have three minutes.” He backed away,” Get them blankets “he spoke to the Policewoman as they moved away;
“Mommy can I feed him, he’s waiting?”
“Billy they all look the same.”
“No mommy,” Billie whispered, “I used your red marker I marked him with a red line on the bottom of his foot.”
“Billy you shouldn’t have done that. “ His mother reprimanded him.
“I know mommy. I’m sorry.” Billie sniffled,” can I feed him once more?”
“Sure sweetie, here; give him this.”
His mother handed him a Black Pearl.
“Will he eat this mommy?”
“Yes dear, he will. Give it to him so we can leave, Billy “
Billy threw his treat to the duckling. Who leaped up and grabbed his prize, swallowing happily.
“All done no more food,” Billie waved both hands to show the duckling his hand were empty. “Can we come back tomorrow?”
“Yes we will definitely be back, tomorrow.”
Mrs. Kelly kissed her sons forehead, straightened his auburn curls, and then called to the policeman; who was closely watching their interaction.
“Ok, officers were ready.”
The police woman took Billie and wrapped him in a blanket; Mrs. Kelley’s hands were cuffed; then hidden under her blanket.
Billie turned and waved at the duckling
The policewoman smiled at Billy, “is that your friend?”
“Silly lady it’s only a duck. “ Billy turned in her arms and waved “Bye! Bye! Ducky! See you tomorrow…”
A man approached quietly. Tall with his black hair pulled back in a ponytail; wearing a dark, grey pinstriped suit, with a black shirt and a white tie. He moved from his hips; with strength and purpose in his stride “Hello, officer.”
“Daddy! Daddy!” Billy tried to slip away from the policewomen, she held him tightly.
Mr. Kelly smiled, at his son, touched his cheek then turned to his wife.
“Darling, you’re all wet.” Mr. Kelly kissed his wife; then using the corner of the blanket wiped a trickle of water off her face.
He turned back to his son, and asked. “Billy, you’re all wet too. What have you both been up to?”
“Feeding the Ducks daddy; then I fell in the water.” Billy answered excitedly.
Billy reached out to his father; the female officer looked to Officer Reily
He nodded; she let the boy slip into his father’s arms.
“Now, Officer Reily you seem to have my family wrapped up here.”
He glanced at the cuffs half hidden under the blanket,” is my wife under arrest?”
“He said I was,” Mrs. Kelly answered.” After he let Billy fall into the pond. “
Both men exchanged silent looks. Officer Reily looked away first.
“Hmm. Where’s the warrant officer?” He asked slowly.
Reily signed, as he pulled out a folded paper from his pocket and handed it to Mr. Kelly
“Well! Well!” He said as his blue eyes scanned the paper,” this is just to bring my darling wife in for questioning. This is a problem.”
“Sir, your wife disappears each and every time I try to speak with her. “
“So you’re saying she was resisting?”
“Well, no…”
“Then what officer?” he kept his voice low, each word was spoken with silent intent. “You tried talking to her without council?”
Officer Reily stared with out flinching. “I did what I had to do.”
“Well, Officer I would never interfere with police business, but..” He gave him more of a snarl than a smile
“What? You’re a lawyer! You’ve been on my ass for years!” Reily snapped.
“What is my wife being questioned for?”
“The robbery at the museum two nights ago we have her on tape.”
“Tape hmmm..” he never took his eyes away from Reily’s,” I was just at the station, I saw that tape.” He stopped and shifted his son’s weight in his arms. ” That person was wearing a mask.”
“So? it is her, its obvious!” Reily was realizing he was losing to him once more.
“Obvious?” Mr. Kelly’s eyebrow went up,” how so?”
“It’s her! I know her shape!”
“Officer, have you been admiring my wife’s shape?”
Officer Reily stepped back, “hey! Don’t turn this around on me.”
“Well, officer Reily! I have to disagree. That person was obviously a man.” He smiled.
“A man?” Reily’s voice rose an octave.
“Yes, you can see in the tape, the flat ass. My wife, as you know, because you can’t seem to take your eyes off her. Has a well, rounded bottomed. “
“Darling are you saying I have a fat..” Mr. Kelly looked shocked.
“No! No! Dear, just a well formed one.”
“What a minute.” Reily interjected.
“You wait officer, I just spoke with the profiler unit” he waited a few seconds then continued. “They’re saying, according to that tape. The perpetrator is about 5’11 one sixty to one seventy; and a man. “
“When did you ..?” Reily stuttered.
“If you don’t believe me; call in and ask.”
Reily stepped off to the side and spoke into his cell phone. He looked aggravated when he snapped the phone close.
“Fine, your wife can go.” He removed her cuffs,” But I still want to talk to her.”
“My wife and I will be in the station to see you; tomorrow after my family gets cleaned up.”
“Wait a minute” Reily reached out and touched Mr. Kelly’s sleeve.
“No officer you wait” he glared until Reily removed his hand,” My wife was put in cuffs. You tried to arrest her illegally. You then prevented her from stopping my son from falling in a dirty pond “
Reily shrugged, and then Mr. Kelly continued.
.
“You have no evidence against her.” He smiled, “Now I can have charges filed against you within the hour. Or, you will see us tomorrow. Which will it be?”
“Damn you Kelly,” Reily muttered. “Ok! First thing in the morning.”
“Of course,” Mr. Kelly polity responded.
Mr. Kelly, while holding his son, put his arm around his wife’s waist and steered her towards the parking lot.
“Remember eight am, “Reily shouted.
“Sure, noon will be fine.” Mr. Kelly answered.
Reily watched them all get into a black Lexus, and drive off.
He shook his head, when the policewoman tried to speak to him. “Forget it lets go.”
In the car, Billy was laughing and telling his father about his duck.
“Can we go back and see him, daddy? Please”
“That would be up to your mother, what do you say dear?”
Mrs. Kelly smiled up at her husband, “well, I think we should change clothes, and go back. He can live in our pond.”
“Wow, my own ducky. “ Billy’s eyes were wide. Then he yawned. He fell asleep almost instantly dreaming about his yellow, baby duck swimming in the pond.
“We should get a half dozen little yellow ducks and their mother” She added with a smile. “They can keep each other company.”
Mr. Kelly removed the ear piece as he hung up his cell. “All set, the ducks will be delivered in an hour. And that muscle suit of yours is already burning at the dump.”
He pulled into the driveway; leaned over and kissed his wife passionately.
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comments on story:
1) Very good story. Nice touch at the end. I like the hint I was not expecting.
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2) A very imaginative twist to the picture prompt. The black pearl was very ingenious. I see "who done it" mystery writing in your future. However, there were several grammatical errors throughout the story. Comma's were lacking in several areas, especially after quotations. Otherwise, a very interesting short story to read. Well done.
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3) Although I had trouble with some of the plot. Some things just were not believable, I had a good read and the dialogue, I think was done particularly well. I look forward to move stories along these paths. I would suggest a reading to a friend before submitting, however. This would allow for some realism be suggested for some of the scenarios.
